You Are Jeff- Richard Siken

1.
There are two twins on motorbikes but one is farther up the road, beyond the hairpin turn, or just before it, depending on which twin you are in love with at the time. Do not choose sides yet. It is still to your advantage to remain impartial. Both motorbikes are shiny red and both boys have perfect teeth, dark hair, soft hands. The one in front will want to take you apart, and slowly. His deft and stubby fingers searching every shank and lock for weaknesses. You could love this boy with all your heart. The other brother only wants to stitch you back together. The sun shines down. It's a beautiful day. Consider the hairpin turn. Do not choose sides yet.

2.
There are two twins on motorbikes but one is farther up the road. Let's call them Jeff. And because the first Jeff is in front we'll consider him the older, and therefore responsible for lending money and the occasional punch in the shoulder. World-wise, world-weary, and not his mother's favorite, this Jeff will always win when it all comes down to fisticuffs. Unfortunately for him, it doesn't always all come down to fisticuffs. Jeff is thinking about his brother down the winding road behind him. He is thinking that if only he could cut him open and peel him back and crawl inside this second skin, then he could relive that last mile again: reborn, wild-eyed, free.

---

This is an excerpt from one of my absolutely favorite poems. It's a bit too long to post here, but you can find the remainder of it here. What I love about Richard Siken is that reading his poetry makes you feel incredibly raw and vulnerable and human, something that only true art could ever accomplish.

Sometimes- Nikki Giovanni

sometimes
when i wake up
in the morning
and see all the faces
i just can't
breathe

Granola

I first discovered granola my senior year of high school. My mother would buy me a pound of vanilla granola at the grocery store, and I'd eagerly chow down on it, mixing it into containers of fruit-flavored Yoplait yogurt and feeling pleased with myself for snacking on such a "healthy" combination. Since then my tastes have changed slightly- now I don't like my granola to be so overwhelmingly sweet, and I eat it with Fage yogurt instead of Yoplait- but the basic combination is basically the same, albeit with about 30 less grams of sugar.

My best friend and I first made granola from scratch this summer, and since then I've refused to buy granola from the store. It's so much more delicious and cheap when it's home-made, not to mention it's so easy to make! The other great thing about making granola from scratch is that you can basically put in whatever you'd like. Don't like walnuts? Replace them with pecans. Not a big fan of honey? Try making it with maple syrup instead. Throw in a few handful of seeds, if you'd like. Add all your favorite dried fruits. You can even make it peanut-butter flavored, or make a nice, seasonal variety.

The recipe below is my variation of the one found here. I made a batch this past Thursday, but doubled it. Nine cups of granola may sound like a lot, but between one of my roommates and me, it's already almost gone. I guess that's what happens when you eat bowlfuls of it for breakfast three days in a row...

Granola

3 cups old-fashioned rolled oats (instant oats don't work nearly as well)

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

1/2 cup chopped raw almonds (I use a mixture of raw chopped almonds & sliced almonds)

3/4 cup shredded coconut

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup honey (or you can substitute with maple syrup)

2 tablespoons canola oil

raisins and dried cranberries

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

Preheat oven to 300 F.

In a large bowl, mix all the dry ingredients together.

In a separate bowl, mix the honey and oil together. Drizzle the liquid mixture into the dry ingredients and mix it all together.

Spread onto a large, rimmed cookie sheet. Bake for about 30-35 minutes, stirring every 10 or 15 minutes, until it's golden brown. Be careful not to let it bake too long, or it'll easily burn. Remove from oven and let it cool completely. Enjoy!

For the Young Who Want To - Marge Piercy

Talent is what they say
you have after the novel
is published and favorably
reviewed. Beforehand what
you have is a tedious
delusion, a hobby like knitting.

Work is what you have done
after the play is produced
and the audience claps.
Before that friends keep asking
when you are planning to go
out and get a job.

Genius is what they know you
had after the third volume
of remarkable poems. Earlier
they accuse you of withdrawing,
ask why you don't have a baby,
call you a bum.

The reason people want M.F.A.'s,
take workshops with fancy names
when all you can really
learn is a few techniques,
typing instructions and some-
body else's mannerisms

is that every artist lacks
a license to hang on the wall
like your optician, your vet
proving you may be a clumsy sadist
whose fillings fall into the stew
but you're certified a dentist.

The real writer is one
who really writes. Talent
is an invention like phlogiston
after the fact of fire.
Work is its own cure. You have to
like it better than being loved.

---

This should be required reading for anyone who is a writer, or anyone pursuing any sort of creative field, really.

Variation on the Word Sleep- Margaret Atwood

I would like to watch you sleeping,
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head

and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear

I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and as you enter
it as easily as breathing in

I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.

or anything resembling it- Michael Palmer

The hills like burnt pages
Where does this door lead

Like burnt pages
Then we fall into something still called the sea

A mirrored door
And the hills covered with burnt pages

With words burned into the pages
The trees like musical instruments attempt to read

Here between idea and object
Otherwise a clear even completely clear winter day

Sometimes the least memorable lines will ring in your ears
The disappearing pages

Our bodies twisted into unnatural shapes
To exact maximize pleasure

From the view of what is in any case long gone and never was
A war might be playing itself out beyond the horizon

An argument over the future-past enacted in the present
Which is an invisible present

Neva streaming out by the casement
Piazza resculpted with bricolage

Which way will the tanks turn their guns
You ask a woman with whom you hope to make love

In this very apartment
Should time allow

What I would describe as a dark blue dress with silver threads
And an overturned lamp in the form of a swan

A cluster of birches represent negativity
Flakes of ash continue to descend

We offer a city with its name crossed out
To those who say we are burning the pages

The Sciences Sing a Lullaby- Albert Goldbarth

Physics says: go to sleep. Of course
you're tired. Every atom in you
has been dancing the shimmy in silver shoes
nonstop from mitosis to now.
Quit tapping your feet. They'll dance
inside themselves without you. Go to sleep.

Geology says: it will be all right. Slow inch
by inch America is giving itself
to the ocean. Go to sleep. Let darkness
lap at your sides. Give darkness an inch.
You aren't alone. All of the continents used to be
one body. You aren't alone. Go to sleep.

Astronomy says: the sun will rise tomorrow,
Zoology says: on rainbow-fish and lithe gazelle,
Psychology says: but first it has to be night, so
Biology says: the body-clocks are stopped all over town
and
History says: here are the blankets, layer on layer, down and down.

Things That Make Me Happy: Electronic Music Concerts?

Yesterday, I was having a really terrible day.

My alarm didn't go off, so I was ten minutes late to Chemistry class, during which I found out that I'd done horrendously on a quiz that I'd taken last week. When I went to the gym and weighed myself, I had the unpleasant surprise of a few extra pounds that had definitely not been there a few weeks ago (I guess I'll have to lay off the cupcake-baking for a while). Worst of all, my editor at my school's newspaper was forcing me to attend an electronic music concert that evening. Don't get me wrong, I can usually appreciate electronic music (I did go to Electric Zoo with some friends, after all), but after everything else that had happened that day, the last thing I wanted to do was go to some club by myself and endure loud, repetitive beats. I tried to find some way of avoiding going to the concert, but one of my roommates finally promised to go with me, so I relented and decided to go, albeit unwillingly.

When we first got to the concert venue, my worst fears seemed to be confirmed: it was twenty minutes before the show was supposed to start, and there were only two people out on the dance floor. We left, though, and went to get milkshakes, and ended up sitting in The Milkshake Factory for almost an hour with my roommate and two of his friends discussing the meaning of happiness and corn monoculture. Between my delicious Fudge Java Brownie Milkshake and the intellectual discourse, I was feeling particularly more upbeat by the time we returned to the club, even though there were only 30 people in the venue at that point.

The first DJ was somewhat boring, with a set that jumped all over the place and songs that didn't transition well into each other. I was afraid that the whole evening would be just as mediocre, until the second DJ came out. His music was so upbeat and alluring that it drew me out onto the dance floor, and once I started dancing, I couldn't stop. After a few songs, I was hardly even aware of anyone around me, or even of the exact songs that the DJ was playing; I was too busy getting lost in the music and in dancing along to the beat, with a grin on my face the entire time.

I ended up dancing for about two and a half hours straight, until we all decided to head home at 12:30. I practically skipped out of the club, I was so pumped with endorphins. I went home and sang my praises about the show to our other two roommates, both of whom looked amused at my dramatic change of mood.

So, what's the point of me monologuing about a great concert, especially one that's already past? Well, I guess the point is what I realized later that evening, as I was lying in bed unable to sleep: Had I not taken the opportunity to go to this concert, I would still be cranky, lying lazily about at home, and wondering about what I was missing out on. I used to tell myself to take every opportunity that came my way, because you don't regret the opportunities you took advantage of, but rather the ones you missed. Lately, though, I seem to have been abandoning this mantra out of either shyness, fear, or plain old laziness. Last night was a wake-up call to go back to taking advantage of every opportunity I can get my hands on. Who knows what delicious treats or danceable beats you could missing out on otherwise?

(PS: If you'd like, you can read my review of the show here)

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes

Everybody loves chocolate chip cookie dough. Seriously, though- how many people do you know who, when asked, would say, "oh, no thanks, I really hate cookie dough"? Exactly: none. So when I decided to bake some cupcakes for a party we had last night, I decided I couldn't go wrong with chocolate chip cookie dough cupcakes.

They're chocolate chip cupcakes, with the middles cut out & replaced with cookie dough, all topped with cookie dough flavored icing and miniature chocolate chips. They're ridiculously indulgent and bad for you, so I probably won't make them very often, but man, are they delicious.

Everyone who had a cupcake spent the next five minutes gushing over their cupcake as they ate it. They were so well-loved that I didn't even bother admitting that I had screwed up the recipe! I had misread the recipe and put way too little milk into the cupcake batter (3 tablespoons instead of one cup- yikes!), so they turned out less moist than they should have, but I think everyone was too distracted by the delicious cookie dough flavors to pay attention to how moist the cake was :)

Also, I didn't have any condensed milk, so I used this cookie dough recipe for the cupcake filling, and it turned out deliciously! Plus, it has super-healthy Greek yogurt in it, so I can almost justify eating it by the spoonful... almost.

Being to Timelessness As It's To Time- EE Cummings

being to timelessness as it's to time,
love did no more begin than love will end:
where nothing is to breathe to stroll to swim
love is the air the ocean and the land

(do lovers suffer?all divinities
proudly descending put on deathful flesh:
are lovers glad?only their smallest joy's
a universe emerging from a wish)

love is the voice under all silences,
the hope which has no opposite in fear;
the strength so strong mere force is feebleness:
the truth more first than sun more last than star

— do lovers love?why then to heaven with hell.
Whatever sages say and fools,all's well

----

I've always been a big ee cummings fan, and I recently discovered this poem. I don't find it quite as unconventional as most of his work, but I love it for that reason.